||Knowing what emotion I am feeling and knowing what it makes me want to do|
||Knowing how I am feeling and being able to describe my emotions|
||Knowing that it is a good thing to talk about my feelings and what they want me to do|
||Being able to recognise my feelings, name them, share them and manage them and not let them control my behaviour.|
Why is it important ?
Because it gives us the “The ability to recognise, understand, handle and appropriately express emotions”
What role do emotions play in our lives?
Researchers found that even more than IQ your emotional awareness and abilities to handle feelings will determine your success and happiness in all walks of life, including family relationships.
Gottman and Declare 1998
There is sound evidence from the literature, mainly from the US, that work on emotional and social competence and wellbeing has a wide range of educational and social benefits, including greater educational and work success, improved behaviour, increased inclusion, improved learning, greater social cohesion, increased social capital, and improvements to mental health.
Katherine Weare and Gay Gray, The Health Education Unit, Research and Graduate School of Education, University of Southampton
- are self aware
- manage feelings
- make decisions
- manage stress
- take personal responsibility
- have a positive self concept
- experience empathy
- understand group dynamics
- work out conflict resolutions
How can you help children to identify and gain a deeper understanding of the feelings we all regularly experience?
How can you help children develop an emotional vocabulary?
How can you help children empathise with others and become aware of how their personal feelings and behaviours can impact upon others?
How can you encourage children to be reflective and to understand the consequences of their actions?
How can you improve children’s self-concept?
How can you help children develop a range of strategies and encourage them to express emotions in appropriate ways?
The nature of teacher-pupil interaction in any classroom significantly influences the effectiveness of the teaching learning process in general and the behaviour of the pupils, the teacher and all others involved in the process in particular.
Significant amounts of research have been done which highlight the importance of positive interaction and how it can have a positive effect in decreasing the types and frequency of challenging behaviours, in promoting favourable attitude of teachers towards pupils with challenging behaviours and also in enhancing positive self-perception of teachers about their professional competency.
- To establish a relationship of trust
- To listen and empathise with the child’s personal story
- To promote a positive image of the child and when required replace the negative conceptions with positive ones
- To make positive assessments, by seeking out and pointing out that which is already positive in the child's behaviour
- To interpret the child's behaviour
- To give examples through stories and illustration
- To give practical demonstrations to child, role modelling, different aspects of good quality interaction.
What can you do in the Classroom?
Build your own self esteem (tell yourself what you do well)
Observe and note models of emotional literacy in others.
Practise storytelling and collect fiction for the primary classroom that deals with specific emotions.
Learn to control stress by developing calming strategies.
How to manage your own emotions
1. Identify Your Feelings - Ask yourself: How am I feeling?
Answer using three word sentences beginning with "I feel..."
Label your feelings, not your children (or situation)
2. Take Responsibility for Them (Own them)
Don't blame the children for your feelings
Owning your feelings means not thinking in terms of:
- You are making me angry
- You kids are driving me crazy
Remember that there is a little space between stimulus and response, and in this space lies your power to choose your reaction. Don't give away this power.
If your kids are in charge of your emotions, you are in trouble!
3. Use Your Emotional Awareness to Learn About Yourself
Your negative feelings reveal your unmet emotional needs.
|If you feel...
||You need to feel...|
Out of control
But remember that the children are not there to meet your needs, you are there to meet theirs. Thus, you must either get your needs met somewhere else, or you must "let go" of some of your needs, such as your need to have so much control, or to feel obeyed. And remember that respect is something you earn, not demand. The easiest way to do this is to show respect for each individual child’s feelings, and remember his negative feelings are indications of unment emotional needs. The more help the child identify and meet the needs, the happier everyone will be.
4. Work on Keeping Your Area of Acceptance Wide Open
When you feel good about yourself you are more
This helps your students feel
Good about themselves
These contribute to healthy self-esteem, openness to learn and willingness to cooperate
Remember that Emotions are Contagious
Helping your Students feel better
1. Help them label their feelings
Teach them a wide range of feeling words
Start expressing your feelings
Start talking about feelings
2. Give them real choices
Honour their decisions
Don't issue orders in disguise as requests
Ask them to help you meet your needs; don't demand it
3. Respect their feelings
Ask them how they feel
Ask them how they would feel before taking action
Think about how you want them to feel
What feelings create a positive learning environment
Accept their feelings
Show understanding, empathy, caring and concern
Whenever there is a problem remember to always first validate the feelings
5. Empower them
Ask them how they feel and "What would help you feel better"
Teach them to solve their own problems using empathy, compassion and mutual respect for each other's feelings
6. Avoid Labels and Judgment
Avoid subjective labels (good/bad; nice/rude, etc.)
Separate the child from the behaviour
Use language of choice
Sample of websites and books
- Primary special needs – Emotional Literacy – positive approaches in behaviour management http://www.ttrb.ac.uk/ViewArticle2.aspx?Keyword=Literacy&SearchOption=Phrase&SearchType=Keyword&RefineExpand=0&ContentId=12401- Extra Mile Aspiration – how schools succeed in raising aspiration in deprived communities http://publications.teachernet.gov.uk/default.aspx?PageFunction=productdetails&PageMode=publications&ProductId=DCSF-00447-2008
- Everybodys Business, National CaMHS support service , e learning with notes http://learning.camhs.org.uk/- Public health guidance on promoting social and emotional wellbeing Primary http://www.nice.org.uk/ph012- public health guidance on promoting social and emotional wellbeing secondary http://www.nice.org.uk/PH20- Creating Winning Classrooms, David Fulton Publishers, Peter Hook and Andy Vass
- Taken From: Hook,P. Vass, A. (2002) Teaching with Influence. London: David Fulton Chapter 4 Nine core principles
- Behaviour Management Pocketbook, Teachers Pocketbooks, Peter Hook and Andy Vass
- Primary Teacher’s pocketbook, tips, tools and techniques, Teachers Pocketbook, Bruce Potts
- Helping Children to manage loss, positive strategies for renewal and growth, Jessica Kingsley Publishers, Brenda Mallon
- Emotional Literacy in the Primary Classroom: Teacher Perceptions and Practices, Routledge. Available from: Taylor & Francis, Ltd. 325 Chestnut Street Suite 800, Philadelphia, PA 19106. Tel: 800-354-1420; Fax: 215-625-2940; Web site: http://www.tandf.co.uk/journals- Nurturing Emotional Literacy: A Practical Guide for Teachers, Parents and Those in the Caring Professions (Paperback) , Peter Sharp
- A Volcano in My Tummy: Helping Children to Handle Anger:
- Helping Children to Handle Anger : a Resource Book for Parents, Caregivers and Teachers, Eliane Whitehouse, Warwick Pudney
- Ruby and the Rubbish Bin (Helping Children with Feelings), Margot Sunderland, Nicky Armstrong
- When Mom and Dad Separate: Children Can Learn to Cope with Grief (Drawing Out Feelings), Marge Heegaard
- When Someone Very Special Dies: Children Can Learn to Cope with Grief (Drawing Out Feelings), Marge Heegaard
- Help Your Child Develop Emotional Literacy: The Parents' Guide to Happy Children (Help Your Child to Succeed), Betty K. Rudd
- When Someone Has a Very Serious Illness: Children Can Learn to Cope with Loss and Change (Drawing Out Feelings), Marge Heegaard
- Inside I'm Hurting: Practical Strategies for Supporting Children with Attachment Difficulties in Schools, Louise Bomber
- When a Parent Marries Again: Children Can Learn to Cope with Family Change (Drawing Out Feelings Series), Marge Heegaard
- The Heart Masters Red Book: A Programme for the Promotion of Emotional Intelligence and Resilience for School Children Aged 9 to 11 (Lucky Duck Books), Bob Bellhouse, et al
Helping Your Anxious Child: A Step-by-step Guide for Parents, Ronald M. Rapee, Ann Wignall
- What Every Parent Needs to Know: The Incredible Effects of Love, Nurture and Play on Your Child's Development, Margot Sunderland
- Why love matters, Sue Gerhardt
- The Incredible 5-point Scale: Assisting Children with ASDs in Understanding Social Interactions and Controlling Their Emotional Responses, Kari Dunn Buron, Mitzi Curtis
- Ten Things Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew, Ellen Notbohm
- How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk (How to Help Your Child) (How to Help Your Child), Adele Faber; Elaine Mazlish - Draw on your emotions, Margot Sunderland
- Helping Children Pursue their Hopes and Dreams and Pea Called Mildred. Margot Sunderland
- Helping Children with Low Self-Esteem: A Guidebook. Margot Sunderland
- Helping children who have hardened their hearts or become bullies Margot Sunderland
- When My Worries Get Too Big!: A Relaxation Book for Children Who Live with Anxiety, Kari Dunn Buron